Listening, relating and reaching out to people has been always been somewhat my natural ability. Most of the time, I have been able to make sense of many complex situations, appreciate the sentiments and provide the needed encouragement, understanding and comfort. I will always have something to say.
I will always have something to say until the day when my dear childhood friend passed away April this year. My conscience has been constantly pricked for my incompetence to utter something or in fact, anything that could express my grieve for his death. Also, that I had failed to provide comfort and relief from grieve for my friend’s parents and wife as a result of my speechlessness.
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A usual hectic morning in the office:
I was busily making preparations for a meeting scheduled at 0930hrs. My phone rang and I noticed from the caller ID that it was from my childhood friend whom I had dinner with two days ago. However, I was surprised that the voice on the other end of the line was that of his wife.
In a calm and composed voice, she informed me that my friend had passed on.
"Passed on?" I repeated the word while mentally searched for the meaning of the word.
Suddenly, I heard a sob on the line and it had strucked me abruptly. He is dead. He had "passed on". My mind was blanked for a few seconds, which seemed like eternity and my face numbed. I opened my mouth trying to say something. No comforting words were uttered. I was dumbfounded……
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At the friend’s house where we had wine and recounted some good memories just two days ago:
As I entered into his house, his parents and wife greeted me at the doorway. Their faces were etched with signs of immense grieve and their eyes were swollen with tears. There was so much grieve and so much pain.
" But he is so young….", his mother wept. ( I will always remember these words)
My heart sank and I wanted very much to say something to comfort them but there was nothing. I was at loss for words……..
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An article read on the Internet today:
"In the Bible we are told that during Job’s time of grieving, his three friends came to mourn with him and to comfort him. For the first 7 days sat and wept with him because he was in deep sorrow (Job 2:11-13). "No one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great" (v.13). Their presence alone was a comfort to him."
I hoped it is true that my silent presence alone would somehow have brought comfort to them…..
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2 comments:
It is true. Lending your shoulder or helping hand to the person is much better than saying "i understand..".
NO...no one could ever understand the great pain that they are going through.
So the best is just to say..NOTHING
Cher
Yeap, I guessed so too. And I hope you will be constantly happy. Be strong ya.
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